Prom Tolerance and the Changing of Hearts and Minds

by CODY LYON

OPINION

News that the Itawamba County Mississippi school board would cancel its upcoming prom rather than allow a gay student, Constance McMillen, to bring her same sex date to the event was a disturbing but necessary reminder of just how hostile much of the nation to the 'full acceptance' of LGBT people, and that includes students.

Perhaps the school system's decision is based in fear rooted in flawed and prejudiced assumptions, that by allowing a teenager to bring her same sex date to such a traditional event as the prom, the powers that be may appear to be condoning gayness to the local masses. More likely,moral concerns extending from literal interpretations of scripture, verses located on the same pages where one finds instructions for the stoning of adulterers and punishments for wearing certain types of textiles. But then again, the Mississippi prom case is more likely just another piece of fallout from a very commonly held membership in a society where there is a quiet tolerance of homophobia which is nothing more than a phobia of homosexuality itself.

It's easy to draw comparisons to this incident and a 1994 case involving a student in the little east Alabama town of Wedowee. In February of that year, the principal of Randolph County High School called the student body, then around 60% white and 40% black, to an assembly, where he asked the group how many juniors and seniors planned to attend the prom with 'dates' as he put it, "outside their race?" To his, and perhaps many northern readers who later read details of this tale surprise, several students did in fact raise their hands. Reportedly, the principal, a white man named Hulond Humphries, promptly cancelled the prom, asking, "how would that look at a prom, a bunch of mixed race couples?"

Most would probably agree, that no matter how you phrase it, spin it or frame it, at the root of the Wedowee principal's prom decision in 1994, was phobia, a phobia of African American students mixing with whites, and that phobia, still held by many in America, is most likely rooted in racism of one form or another.

But, back to present day Mississippi. There is no denying the bravery of this young student who with help from the ACLU is standing up to authority. It is a shame, that the majority of students who are most likely heterosexual are upset about seeing their big night get spoiled. Like the 1994 Wedowee principal, Itawamba County officials had rather cancel the event, than run the risk of 'appearing unsavory' after all, how would it look if their are lesbians at the prom? Worth mentioning, for those LGBT leaders in bastions of tolerance, far from places like rural Mississippi, the hope is they will not only take notice of this young girl's brave actions, but, instill the support of all watching this little drama unfold. Because, in truth, its those drama's that unfold daily in the smaller places of America's heartland, where hearts and minds are changed, ever so slowly, but oh so often, surely. You see that kind of change in places like Ashburn Georgia, a small town 160 miles south of Atlanta, that held its first integrated black and white together prom in 2007, yes, that' just two years ago. Guess who voted for the change from 'Jim Crow" appearing segregation to modern day integration, the majority of the student body, all 212 of them. One hopes too, that despite old thought principals or school boards caught up in society's prejudices, moral conflicts or hang-ups based in misinterpretation or hate, that students like Constance McMillen, will someday have the support of her student body, and that they too, will vote for an integrated prom along the same lines as those kids in Georgia but perhaps, these kids will go a bit further on the tolerance trail, a place where black, white, straight, gay or whatever well behaved junior or senior from that school gains admission to the prom and dances the night away with his or her date, regardless of whether that date is a boy or a girl.

Bullying, Suicide and The Golden Rule

Bullying, Suicide and The Golden Rule

by Cody Lyon


Today's America is markedly different than it was when I was growing up in 1970's Alabama. While much among us has changed for the better, especially in the realms of official equality and social justice, mean-ness, as my Grandmother would have called it, still runs rampant throughout our society. One need only go online and read headlines from across the country that detail economic inequity, corruption and acts of brutal violence that have in many ways numbed our souls. Clearly, the biblical Golden rule that would have us do unto others, as we would do unto them, is still an afterthought, perhaps forgotten by many.

Compounding the daily litany of horror stories is a constantly arriving stream of evidence that we've all been living on borrowed dimes, that excess and corruption have run rampant in our financial foundations, that thousands have died in wars sold on misinformation and elements within our government are still under the influence of powerful self serving interests. All accounted for, then pondered, one worries about how best to change the direction of what some might call a wayward ways.

Perhaps too you wonder how best to change the minds of those still infected by narrow thinking, where self interest, misconstrued messages and fear distort calls for teaching tolerance, acceptance and respect in schools. Instead, you watch as those messages get spun as radical, sinful or part of some greater 'sexuality' associated agenda. It becomes further frustrating when you know those calls are in fact based in hope and faith that with each passing generation, decency becomes a mantle by which to live life, a community connected, where the goal is to treat one another with respect.

And, then, hopes for the future become further frustrated as a headline reaches out grabs you, saddens,enrages, and then, sets you back.

According to published news reports, this past Monday, an 11 year old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover went to the top room at his family's home in Springfield, and hung himself. Reportedly, his Mother had said that he made this tragic decision after enduring the taunts and bullying by other children. His Mother says she'd plead with school officials at the New Leadership Charter School, where he'd tried to make friends to intervene. But instead, he was made fun of for his clothing, called "gay" and threatened with physical harm. He would have turned 12 on April 17.

The Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network, or GLSEN, a national education organization that seeks to ensure safe learning environments for all students, says that Walker-Hoover is the fourth middle school aged child's suicide linked to bullying this year. GLSEN says a vast number of children who suffer at the hands of bullies, often encounter anti-gay taunting and often, physical violence. As most adults outside liberal enclaves in the North east or West coast know, being openly gay is sometimes not an option, unless one is truly brave. And, as research shows, society's often quiet acceptance of intolerance trickles down to children, where gay or fag is often the insult de-jour, often meant to inflict the ultimate in hurt and pain.

No doubt, it's a cruel world out there and kids will grow into adults who will encounter 'mean-ness' throughout their lives in one form or another. And certainly, calling on kids to stop calling one another names might be seen as, interference by adults, maybe even some sort of censorship by PC elitist forces that are out of touch with the more harsh realities on the ground in many communities throughout America, a land where bullying is the last thing on anyone's mind right now. But, perhaps the tragic death of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover should give us all pause. As we ponder this sad news, maybe we ought to ask ourselves a question or two.

If we are to truly reconcile the tremendous positive social changes we've seen since my childhood with the contradictory rot of corruption that has permeated so much of our society, should we not demand that our future generations prepare for future challenges in institutions where respect, tolerance and the Golden rule is just that, a rule that is enforced? Does an adult demanding that a child treat his fellow child the way he or she would want to be treated smell of radicalism or part of an agenda? This is not about asking anyone to accept anything other than human decency.

Larry Kramer Tells it Like it Is (EDGE STORY)

The Man who founded HIV/AIDS activist group ACT-UP tells it like it is 20 years after that group's founding.
Read the piece at EDGENEWYORK